The 20 worst female albums of the 2010s

Making good music is not easy. The risk of being a critic is to unavoidably tend to appear overly picky, almost to an offensive extent regarding the effort that artists put in their work, depending on how their product resonates after birth.

But, making very bad music is, similarly, not so easy too. In this dishonorable list, some of the basic principles and objective common sense have been ignored, having been replaced with a dose of bad taste and/or sleepy execution, along with insane ideas wildly disguised as avant-garde.

#20

Britney Spears - Britney Jean (2013)

What should have been her "personal-album" manifesto-type then revealed itself as an inhomogeneous, odd mix of (her) early decade's eurodance night bangers and slower, softer, but equally dull slow tempos. Incapable to show a so coveted heartfelt-ness, Britney Jean is just an extremely tantalizing and confusing record.

#19

Alexandra Stan - Unlocked (2014)

Whereas mixing and mastering are kinda good, there is nothing more on this surprisingly shallow album than a mere collection of empty anonymous EDM hooks and pathetic attempts in order to recreate a Mr. Saxobeat 2.0. Tremendously lazy compositions eventually sink the pit further.

#18

Daya - Sit Still, Look Pretty (2016)

In a tepid ocean of young streaming-era fame wannabes, Daya wins the title of the blandest among all of them. Her debut album is a vapid gruel placing as a fluid equilibrium between a chill-pop collection of covers and a disney second-hand movie/nickelodeon series ost.

#17

Jessie J - Alive (2013)

The fact that Jessie's vocal skills are as impressive as the average cheapiness of her albums is just frustrating. Alive manages to be her worst one, thanks to embarassing arrangement choices (how can you even imagine to put together acid bottle synths and 90s badly recycled drum loops), unimaginatively desperate harmonic transitions (i.e. wtf is wrong with the title-track's bridge) and widespread clichés regarding lyrics and melodic structures.

#16

Meghan Trainor - Title (2015)

Listening to Title (duh) is like listening to your grandma annoyingly asking "do you want another slice of meatloaf, darling?" and ignoring your begs of stop please with a fake-teeth simile. Not only does this album fall in the category of "let's be safe replicating the money-making lead single formula", it comes across as the definition of cheesy.

#15

Brooke Candy - Sexorcism (2019)

Candy's metamorphosis from an interesting new face of glam pop to an irrational alien sex monster just didn't work artistically. Sexorcism is a nonsense eruption of grotesque elements, from lyrics to production. Further blurred by an overcrowding of featured guests, her original artistry evaporates, irrevocably lost.

#14

Jennifer Lopez - A.K.A. (2014)

While J Lo's albums have always been marked by a mediocre quality, A.K.A. finds in a total lack of cohesivity its coup de grace. As a hybrid of uninspired urban, dance-pop leftovers and frivolous ballads it obviously aged like skimmed milk. At least the cover artwork is hot.

#13

Cascada - Original Me (2011)

The fact that this album is sort of a mix between a greatest hits and some new song built through shameless plagiarism towards then contemporary hits AND still is called "Original Me" is notably laughable. With the exception of a standout track (Stalker), never heard about artistic evolution?

#12

Iggy Azalea - In My Defense (2019)

This release left everyone interdicted: how did she become sort of a manufactured ensemble of clichés right when this album should've marked the elevation of her artistic status as an independent musician? Doubly disappointing.

#11

Avril Lavigne - Goodbye Lullaby (2011)

This failed introspective projection experiment suffers from a forced reiteration in what her previous typical fun, punk-rock infectious hooks brought commercially-wise, integrating overthought ballads disguised as artistic maturity, all adorned by a shitty production.

#10

Havana Brown - Flashing Lights (2013)

We could argue on the fact that, besides a void texture of cheap glitters with no stimulating solutions which would make this short review a Stan's Unlocked replica, she shouldn't be evaluated in terms of vocal melody. The real issue here is that she doesn't shine as a DJ at all either.

#9

Ke$ha - Animal (2010)

We all know today, that Animal was the product of discographic merchandising coadiuvated by Dr. Luke's allegedly abuses, both as a man and as a musician. There is nothing substantial to say about the original Ke($)ha, unless her very first release was mainly stupid and logically insincere (Cannibal and Warrior were much better already).

#8

Lea Michele - Louder (2014)

Listening to Louder is like helplessly witnessing to the most forced trendification of a musical singer into a mess of electropop embers. After this exhausting showcase, the only track you would pleasantly play twice is Battlefield, which fortunately sets the ground for what is going to be an unexpectedly awesome sophomore album.

#7

Peaches - Rub (2015)

You gotta admit, at least Peaches has a distinctive footprint confering her a continous artistic control. Unfortunately, Rub represents her least inspired, shoddily produced and remedied hank of least funny or even vaguely enjoyable sexual electroclash hymns, whether that could be still picked as a proper word.

#6

Selena Gomez - Stars Dance (2013)

It must seem as if I'm loathing electropop but I swear it is one of my fav genres. The irritating thing about Stars Dance in particular, is the totally absurde intromission of some contaminations like Worldbeat, Bhangra and Bubblegum Punk, making everything even more cheesy. Besides being lyrically sloppy some of the tracks even recreate past hits in a Cascada-who? shameless way (i.e. is B.E.A.T. is a cover of Dev's Bass Down Low?).

#5

Uffie - Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans (2010)

The reason why this album garnered such a polarizing response is that it is, remarkably, an early niche-setter. Unfortunately, Sex Dreams and Denim Jeans suffers from long time spawning, the final tracklist doesn't make sense and no one today would give it a second listen. Her legacy only lives in other valid artists whom were able to channel her influence in more complex and breathable sounds.

#4

Madonna - MDNA (2012)

Overproduced instrumentals might have contributed in what I use as the example to what NOT TO DO when it comes to mixing and mastering. Anything here sounds the opposite of fresh: vocal layers are buried beneath electronic squiggles, and when they emerge, it is only to evidence some of the most embarassing lyrics Madonna has ever made (would even a baby sing along to "ooh la la, you're my superstar"?)

#3

Yoko Ono - Warzone (2018)

It is hard to evaluate music when it is fused with politics. The question here is: does the politics compound serve as an excuse in order to miserably veil Ono's questionable status as innovative musician? Like, is this even deserving to be called music in the first place?

#2

Kreayshawn - Somethin Bout Kreay (2012)

Nothing about this random collision between dance-pop and hip hop works for even a fraction of second. The two counterparts reciprocally destroy each other's catchiness. It is not a lack-of-talent or potential issue, it is more about a total ignorance about the basics of what is the behavior of sounds.

#1

Miley Cyrus - Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz (2015)

On the one hand, I can recognize the worth of a supreme liberation of the soul in what can be defined as an endless stream of consciousness. On the other hand, though, hearing Cyrus calling this an "experimental" record makes me want to declare it the quintessence of "experiment: failed" for the simple reason it is unlistenable. Still, if she needed to express her soul in such a manner in order to find a new balance, I'm very happy for her, as afterwards she seemed to have found a laid aplomb.